Depression... A touchy Subject?

Well there is no denying I suffer from a condition called DEPRESSION. Yes I said it out loud and I admit it. It took me several years to admit I have a problem and also a terrible thing happen for me to say it out loud. Over 35 million Americans suffer from depression so sever they need medication that is 16% of the country. Not many of those people will admit they have a problem, seek help, and most importantly get medications that ultimately could save their life. I suffer from whats called manic-depressive disorder, better known as Bi-polar.   When they first said that to me I replied with "YEA NO NOT ME. I am not THAT bad." She agreed. I am on a low scale. I am not some crazy person that would hurt myself my children or anyone else. Because my lows are VERY low and my highs are very high that is what they "labeled" me. There are days (most days) I put on my pjs right after work or sooner if I am not working and sit in my "chair" all day and night. I play with my children from my chair, I do facebook and watch tv from my chair sometimes I even eat in my chair. They are my very low days. There are days like Saturday night where I could not WAIT to put on my make up my 80's sweatshirt and head out with my best friend Kristen and dance the night away. Those are the good days. My children know I love them. I never lack in telling them playing with them or hugging them it's just sometimes I do it from my chair. I also suffer from sever anxiety. Thinking about driving alone is the worst. When I get up and grab my keys I start to have trouble breathing and it feels like I have bleach in my lungs. Simple things like going to the supermarket is very very hard (and it is only .9 miles away) I am telling everyone all this personal stuff because well I want everyone to know they are not alone. When you Google depression you often get sites that push a certian medication and give you minimum information. I never understood that I was ok. I didn't understand because no one told me (yes it isn't normal) but that the things I feel think and do are ok. There are people to help me, medications to help me and ways to better my life. It is a every day struggle, not knowing what I will wake up to, but I am doing ALL the right things to try and better my life while suffering from this condition. I plan on taking part in the Out of the Darkness walk in Boston mass. It is a walk to prevent suicide. Even tho I have never had thoughts of hurting myself never mind committing suicide I feel for families and loved ones going threw losing someone. I had someone extremely close try and kill themselves and since then have realized I need help with my own life. People who suffer are not someone you have to fear or not be friends with. Someone who suffers needs friends needs encouragement and need what is already good in their life. We never forget what we have and we are always grateful. We just have a different way of life sometimes.   I know it is very hard for my husband children and friends to have to see sometimes and I wish a million times over I could not be sad sometimes but to know I am not the only one suffering is making this thing in my life easier. If you or someone you know are suffering from depression remind them or yourself there are people out there who would love to talk and help them, me being one of them. Thanks for listening to my rambles :)
Much Thoughts For All Denise <3


This is a good website I found as well... 
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm